I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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