i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
that is very illegal...i love you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
