atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize