Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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