Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
