so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It was like getting head from an anaconda
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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