Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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