question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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