you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
