Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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