I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He felt like a one man threesome
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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