What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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