can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
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possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh god it's open bar.
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