I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize