Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
