i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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