I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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