11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
