Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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