maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
either way he was missing a nipple.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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