apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
