Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
