He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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