is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
