So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My balls are so social today.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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