It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
