just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
