never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
