I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
