I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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