so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
