mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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