try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
