my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
