you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
