I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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