So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
