member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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