All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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