Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
