So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
