Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
do herpes really smell.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
