i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize