i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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