and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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