i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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