I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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