what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
