Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
