"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
