my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.