I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.