Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
