i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
