If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
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Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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