Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
