Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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