i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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