Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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