Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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