Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
