next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
