My room smells like vodka and shame
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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