people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
